Forgiveness is such sweet sorrow

Damage comes in many forms. Some cases come to us like an arrow from the bow we saw coming, but could not avoid the blow fast enough. Other forms of hurtfulness build gradually. Every day, just another insult, another refusal. Sometimes we do not even know we are picking up the wounded feelings until we begin to unravel, and our behavior changes in different ways. Perhaps we become depressed, angry, hypersensitive, or abusive to those around us. Sometimes we are so deeply ingrained in our pain that forgiveness seems to be the dumbest solution to our problems. But in the end, we learn forgiveness is mild pain release.

In concrete terms, forgiveness is a decision to put aside the feelings of resentment towards the person(s) who inflicted the pain. Thoughts of revenge can disappear. To be sure, forgiveness does not mean that that the person is relieved of their responsibility of their actions against us. This does not mean that his act was less or hurtful. Forgiveness is just passing the peace and positive thinking. It is possible to forgive without excusing the act. What is the difference? Forgiveness is letting go of anger while realizing the person committing the act has no control over your emotions.

Sometimes, forgiveness is a deep sense of release, especially if we have clung to the anger and resentment for a long period of time. The instance of forgiveness may seem like a huge relief. Our body will feel less stress, lower blood pressure, less anxiety, more energy and reduced anger. By letting go of the anger, it will be easier for us to accept spiritual guidance. Depression and sadness begin to disappear as well.

Why is it so easy to get angry and stay angry? Why hold a grudge? Response to a painful event is natural. In fact, if there is no reaction , it can be a sign of repressed feelings. Repressed feelings can lead to resentment. Resentment can lead to negative behavior towards people around us. If we are always negative, people around us feel bad and angry. Then a vicious circle begins. There is an old Buddhist proverb of anger: "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else that burns."

to overcome this, we must decide to change. To forgive a grievance, we must move away from living life as a victim and take control of our lives and our attitude. By not letting the anger continue to control our thoughts, feelings and actions, we can transform our lives by gaining a new perspective. This includes empathy, understanding, patience and love. Do not think about the time of anger. Focus on the life to come.

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." Louis B. Smedes

Sometimes, in these modern times of progressive thought, forgive and forget is supposed to go together. The power of forgiveness is letting go of anger so that we can have peace and happiness in our lives. At some point we can temporarily forget about an event that happened to us that angered us or hurt us, but we may not forgive. In order to heal, we must forgive our "attacker" completely. Because forgiveness changes our perspective, the act in question will fade but will not be forgotten. Forgiveness dissolves anger, resentment, and heals us.

To forgive someone is not to expect them to change, but allow us to heal from the inside. We are not hurting that person by holding onto our hurt, anger, or resentment. We are only hurting ourselves. We can not change another person, and we cannot forgive until we were ready. When we are ready, we much forgive the person with our whole heart; and, if possible, tell the person we forgive them. They may be relieved that they were forgiven, or they may not accept your forgiveness. That is on them. When we release what we have been holding onto for so long, we can finally love ourselves and open ourselves to be loved by others.

I hope this has helped you see anger for what it is. For more inspirational readings, visit Emotional Clearing Techniques.

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Georgia Ryle

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